I wasn’t going to post in here because I’d hashed this out with my friends and I’m fine now, but when I told them what happened they said “is there anything we can do? Report him on dating apps? Etc?” And then I thought, I know, how about a PSA for women in LA? So here goes nothing:
I went on a date with a guy named Tom*, and to be honest, I looked him up and thought, this guy is douchey but hey, who am I to turn down a free meal? And it could be worth whatever story comes out of it right? Wrong.
Tony picks plan check for dinner, which I thought was a shitty choice, but meh I’m kinda a bougie bitch, so I’m probably just being picky. He picks me up for dinner and immediately is squeezing my inner thigh in the car. Im skeptical of the forward move but not hating it.
We breeze by the restaurant in his car, as he says ‘I don’t see any street parking’ … there was plenty btw. Then he pulls onto a back street. Then another back street. We park on a random side street because it’s ‘near where he lives and he knows the street signs’ …
We walk to dinner, he’s grabbing me and pulling me in close on the walk. I stiffen a little and pull away as I’m not a PDA girl at all, especially with someone I’ve known roughly a day? I tell him he’s being touchy and he says ‘you shouldn’t have worn that shirt’ (a crop top).
We have a rushed 45 minute meal, i’m barely through my mediocre ass chicken sandwich when he signs the check. The convo was fine, not earth shattering. Afterwards as we re walking out he pulls me in and goes in to make out with me on the street. I kiss back, mostly because I was feeling dead inside and wanted to just get the date over with. Here’s a tip: don’t do that. Feels like common sense unless you’re horrible with communicating your feelings or confrontation, like myself.
Next we walk back to his car. He grabs my hand as I go towards it and goes “come check out my place.” I tell him no thank you, it’s a first date.
He pulls me up to his front door, which is directly in front of his car. To clarify.. he parked at his apartment. K. Unsure of how to handle the situation, I step inside his apt. I say it’s nice, now can we go? And he proceeds to ignore me and put a song on for me. I’m like, Can we leave when it’s over? He goes, yeah for sure. Then approaches me at the couch. My shoes are on and my body language is reading ‘SOS’ though he clearly did not understand. He grabs my feet and swings them up on to the couch and pulls them apart and forces himself in between them. I extend my arms outwards and say no four times before he gets off me!! I tell him it’s a first date, I don’t do this, I’d like to go. He lets me off the couch and says ‘one more song’ as he pushes me up against a wall and is at this point forcing himself on me as my lips sat there lifeless. When I pushed him off he thought it was a fun game of cat and mouse and moved his lips to my neck. As I got to his front door the entire routine was repeated. Once in his car he was rubbing his hand in between my legs and stopping at every light to lean over and kiss me.
I know I could’ve and should’ve done so much more to get out of the situation, I’d never before felt unsafe or scared on a date. I was a deer in headlights.
I guess my advice after this, is when your gut is telling you ‘no,’ go with it. And when he doesn’t take no for an answer, get the fuck out of there. I wish I had run out of his apt and called an uber or told him what I thought of him. But I cowered instead.
He continued to text me that night and the next day so I said something. AVOID this guy, he’s a pig. That’s all and if you got to the end of this, thanks for listening.
3 thoughts on “Never Ride in His Car on A First Date…”
We all need to develope a diet mindset. A mindset of “this delicious food will only give me momentary pleasure”. We need to eat foods that take time to cultivate, take time to prepare and take time to enjoy. Damnt, we need to develope self-control — Fuck, we need to realize happiness is found in the happiness of others. I’m going on a permanate diet.
I’m sorry I just have to say, what world are you living in where you thought a nicely worded text would have any impact on this man who basically molested you? He couldn’t care less about your little girly text, you’re a piece of meat to him. I think you need to attend some self defence classes and confidence workshops lovely. You need to learn to tell a man ‘fuck off’ or don’t bother dating. Because dating can be dangerous and you’re stupid enough to go to a man’s house after he’s squeezed your thigh in the car on a first meet? Hang on, you got into a strange man’s car in the first place? And he’s parked outside his apartment? Are you okay hun? Do you have the uber downloaded on your phone orrr?? I mean obviously I’m sympathetic but you are fucking stupid.
Thanks for the advice on how to improve my next experience with sexual assault ray! You seem to have a real grip on things. If you ever host a confidence workshop sign me up!!!!